Ugh. Stupid Teeth.

I hate the dentist. Seriously. And I know. Everyone hates the dentist. But my hatred goes beyond your usual twice-a-year teeth cleaning.

My dentist in New Jersey - a hack. Seriously, who has to get their fake teeth redone 3 times in 3 years? Me. That's who. Yes, I have fake teeth. Goes way back to a drunken piggy-back-ride incident in my 2004 Broadripple days. I had a legit snaggle tooth. It took me a long time before I could laugh about that. It's not that funny when your dentist sucks and you keep having to go back for emotionally and physically painful teeth procedures.

Last week I had a terrible pain in one of my molars (left top side of my mouth). After 2 days of pain I realized it wasn't going to fix itself so I did some exploration with my compact mirror. The culprit? My old-ass silver filling fell out, and was attached to the inside of my tooth. Sweet. Cause that's on my list of things to do while in Buenos Aires...go to the dentist. But you know what else I realized? My teeth were dirty. A year and some change away from the dentist doesn't do you good (even if you do brush and floss religiously). It was time to return to the dental arena.

So I got to it, called my travel insurance company looking for a dentist who was in business on a Sunday. No luck. Then, using my internet searching skills, I found a Sunday dentist, and next thing I knew was looking into the eyes of possibly the world's best looking dentist. Seriously. Incredible. And I didn't lie. I told him straight up that I hated him just like any other dentist, and if he could make this as painless as possible I would appreciate it, and could maybe learn to love him. He only understood a fraction of my humor. A lot of times my personality gets lost in translation.

So he put me on the calendar for the next day. I went, got a cleaning, replaced my filling, and got two new ones (I always lose to cavities). I spent 3 hours in the dental chair. What's worse? I didn't even get to enjoy the eye candy during the procedure because his woman assistant did it all. Boo. But I felt good leaving the dentist. Clean teeth always feel good, hate or love.

Then the next day, the other two teeth (the newly filled, previously unbothered ones) started to hurt. What the fuck. Why does my mouth hate me? Why is dentistry out to get me? So I returned again. I told his handsomeness about how my dentist in New Jersey was a hack (which took about 7 full minutes to translate in Spanish), and how maybe he could understand my frustration with having to come back a second time. And the handsome man calmed me, "fixed" my teeth and sent me blushing back out into the world, truly humbled by his good looks.

Then I woke up the next day. And the next day. And the next. And my bottom newly filled tooth still fucking hurts. So now I have to go back again. And that's not so bad because he's so pretty, but going to the dentist this many times in 2 weeks when you already hate the dentist is torture. Why oh why do I always have the worst dental luck? I mean, after a while, the novelty of world's most handsome dentist wares off when he can't get the job done right. I think he should make it up to me by taking me to dinner. Am I right?

is that a good looking dentist or what?