Warning: if you are a cat-lover, this post might turn you off. I am by no means into animal cruelty, but I now understand a little more the insanity defense in the US justice system.
Once upon a time I wasn't a big cat fan. Then we had a cat for a bit, and they started to grow on me. I would always choose dogs over cats, but I was starting to come around. All that progress has since been erased, and I now have trouble being in the same room as these feline beings.
It all started about 6 weeks ago when I moved in. Shortly after I explained to Mariana and Diego that I could sleep through almost anything, I started waking up in the middle of the night to the neighbor's cat loudly meowing over and over without a moment of silence. I'm not talking about that kind of purring where you think, oh how cute this cat is, but more like high-pitched-continuous-crying-this-cat-is-not-cute stuff. Because our roof is made entirely of glass, it seemed to me as if the cat was on my pillow crying in my ear. I thought it was all part of getting used to a new place, and that soon I wouldn't even notice it, and decided I was just being sensitive. Then I started waking up to the cat, followed by Mariana or Digeo ssshhhing the cat, and rapping the wall with a broomstick sending messages to the cat to please knock it off.
After 2 weeks of consistency from the cat, Mariana finally went to have a civil conversation with the neighbor, explaining our plight, and asking if they could please take the cat inside during the night. The neighbor explained that she was sorry, but that the cat would be neutered in a few days, and the meowing would stop. Fine. So we waited a few days, but it got worse. And again, she went to chat with them, and then was told the other cat had cancer, and that it was now this one disrupting our sleep. Fine. We felt bad. Cancer? Horrible.
Thing is, when you spend so many nights this way, you start to turn a little crazy. And when you have consecutive nights without proper sleep, you become completely insane. The three of us wake up every morning seemingly paranoid, wondering why we wake with the urge to kill people, why we arrive to work frazzled with crazy eyes.
Our dinner conversations have gone from educating each other on our respective cultures and debating the ways of the world to plotting an assassination. We share our cat-strangling dreams and ideas of nonchalantly leaving the door open to set the cat free to roam the streets. Now I know. This is horrible. To spend the majority of your time talking about how you can poison your only neighbor's cat without your only neighbor knowing it was you is sad. But the less sleep you get, the crazier you get, and your feline homicide plans get elaborate and downright creative.
This week was definitely the worst. After 3 full nights without sleeping, I arrived at work on Friday on the verge of being forced into a mental institution. To say I was frazzled is an understatement, and my co-workers and students began to question my sanity. I spent an hour brainstorming on Facebook with Diego how to dispose of the cats. Who am I?
Then Diego informed me that they had spoken with the neighbors again, and had made it clear that it couldn't keep happening. I was relieved because I was really losing it. The night before I had listened to the unbearable crying from 7pm when I got home pretty much until the next morning at 7:30am when I woke up for work. Despite cranking loud music and yelling my newly learned Spanish profanity, I was literally falling to pieces.
Last night as we settled in for one of our Friday night dinners, we basked in the silence. No cats. No meowing. How luxurious? Could it be that the animal gods were about to gift us with a peaceful night's sleep? We laughed about our paranoid experiences with other cats that week and about how crazy our conversations had been, but still enjoyed making a few more less violent plans such as a passive aggressive screening of youtube clips of dogs eating cats on our wall. I know. I'm sorry cat-lovers.
We wrapped up the night around 1am, and I gratefully climbed in my bed and snuggled in without setting my alarm.
And wouldn't you know it? As soon as I was on the verge of sleep, it started. And I almost started crying. Then I heard a pounding on the neighbor's door. And I strained my ear to hear every word of the conversation that followed.
Diego and Mana begged the neighbor to keep her word, sternly this time. Sorry lady, but at this point, we don't care if your cat has cancer, or a broken leg, or alzheimers. We just can't. I couldn't hear her responses, but I did hear this part from Diego, which left me in giggles and went something like this...
"Wait. How many cats do you have?"
Unheard answer from neighbor
"7 cats! Maybe you shouldn't have 7 cats if you can't take care of them."
Unheard answer from neighbor which I later found out was something about how they rescue cats from the street.
"Please, don't rescue any more cats from the street! Maybe your cats are crying all night because you they are hungry and you aren't feeding them."
Unheard answer
On and on like this
What they told me later was that the neighbor had told them they couldn't keep all 7 cats inside because they didn't have a room for each cat. What? Who has 7 cats in a TINY apartment? Then she kept playing the sympathy card. But people who have been driven insane don't have sympathy. And when you lie all the time about the situation, you lose said card. Then she told them it would only be a few more days at which point they tried to make it blatantly clear that there couldn't be another moment, let alone a few more days.
And then? SILENCE. We slept the whole night through and enjoyed a full day of catless sounds. And as I'm sitting here writing this, the cat is FUCKING OUTSIDE AGAIN. I cannot be held responsible for what is going to happen next.*
*please note i am not going to really commit a violent act against a cat. and as much as i would like to do so against the cat's owners, i'm not that keen on going to jail. my next post will most likely be from a padded cell.
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