Broadripple, Steak 'n' Shake Milkshakes, and "Hey, your coochie is hanging out"

1. I hate broadripple. I didn't realize how much this is true until I was driving down the "strip" tonight looking for parking.

2. Steak 'n' Shake milkshakes make everything better. Time after time, they are just always so delicious.

3. What are girls wearing out these days? I mean skirts and dresses that are so short and tight that I can literally see their vaginas. They can't be wearing underwear. How do they get through a night? They can't really sit down, bend down to pick something up if they drop it, dance more than just sidestepping. And that's just sober. What happens when they're falling down drunk? Do they just flash their hoo-hoos to everyone they meet? I guess the pro to these outfits is that it's easier to have sex on the dance floor, in the bathroom, or anywhere really, at the drop of the hat. Cause we all know how important that is. Also, how do you spell coochie?

I wanna be a part of it...New York

So a big goal of my "retirement" phase of life that I'm currently in is to be flexible and open to anything that comes my way. That is a specific goal in my upcoming travel, but in my daily life as well.

It is because of this aforementioned flexibility that I will be boarding a plane back to New York City on Sunday morning. Brooklyn, mama's coming home - for a limited time only. This whole flexible lifestyle is amazing. I mean earlier this week I was working a new hostess gig, as an impostor in a black suit, kissing rich people's asses. And now a week later, I'm trading in those shoulder pads for my regular attire, and a seat back at the old advertising table, though probably not back at my old desk. So new desk, get ready. And New York friends, get ready. It's going to be a busy 4 weeks, but a fun 4 weeks.

Amazing how this stuff works out. So here's the new plan for my upcoming whereabouts in case you're keeping track.

September 26-October 22 - NYC/Brooklyn, temporarily coming out of early retirement for 4 weeks back at W+K

October 23-26 - Back in Indy to prep for the main event, and back into retirement phase

October 27-November 16 - Miami for the birth of niece numero dos, to play Toy Story with Cam, and of course to help and hang out with my lil sis

November 17 - fly to Guatemala

November 22-Jan 1 - Spanish classes in Guatemala

Jan - Volunteer at Maya Pedal in Guatemala

Feb - Central America/Colombia travel

March - Visit Juliana in Brazil for Carnival

April - further notice - whatever I want to do next

It's going to be exciting.

As we go on, we remember all the times we spent together...

The Graduation Song by Vitamin C used to make me cry. I wasn't voted most emotional for nothing. That was 10 years ago. YEs, I walked down the graduational aisle and got my badass NHS diploma a decade ago. What? A decade? That's a long fucking time.

How many things have happened since then? How much has changed? How much has stayed the same? College, New York, Sobriety, Biking, and a lot of other really important stuff in between...TEN YEARS PEOPLE. Peeps are married, having babies, the works. We are grownups mo-fos.

Saturday was our NHS 10-year reunion, and no, I did not cry when they played the Graduation Song by Vitamin C. I will admit I was a little skeptical about going, but damn it, I'm happy that I went. I want to start having reunions once a month. I got to see so many people who I shared so many memories with. I thought that with Facebook being so big, that would somehow cheapen the experience. I was wrong. Last night was awesome. I shared good laughs with great people.

So many of my conversations started with, "remember that time when we made that dance video in your basement?" So I've always had sweet dance moves I guess. Maybe I should consider a career in making basement videos? I seem to have been really good at that. Or maybe there's a company I can start based on memorizing the words to rap songs and then singing them very gangsta-like to impress your friends with your hood moves. (not sure how many people I've actually impressed, but there must be a few out there) I mean, all I need to know I learned in high school.

But seriously though, that night was awesome. I just wanna plan a bunch of reunions now.

Been standing most our lives living in the Gangsta's Paradise. Well, we haven't really, but we're all still really good at rapping all those words. NHS is so gangsta.

Before the reunion happenings, I met up for drinks with my girls from back in the day. We are the loudest people alive I think. They put us in a booth separated from the rest of civilization in the restaurant, and I would imagine we still managed to annoy everyone there. I love these girls, and we just giggled and reminisced about the good ole days in our BeBe shirts and senior cords.

The ladies reunited: EmCow, Court, Dee, Cochrane, Me, Trac, Lehman, Sidener, Drea. Love these ladies! We look damn good after 10 years!

Drea offered to pay me $5 to talk to 5 people with this spinach with my teeth. I was game, but could not get the spinach to stick due to hysterical laughter. Me and Padge...miss this woman!

our solution to the rain - creeper status

Stony Creek representing - Me, Veronica, and Jen

PG in the house

Cochrane was wearing the hugest heels ever, and wreaked havoc on Tracy's toenail. Don't wory, the doctor says it should fully grow back in 6-8 months. Seriously?

back in the saddle

I promise I won't post 2 blogs every day that I'm home. Though I'm filling up my days and nights, it's not that exciting, but thought this was worth sharing.

I just took Nina on a ride to Broadripple to run some errands (notice her new bar tape, tires, break pads, water bottle, and shiny frame (squeak free at that)). So whenever I ride on the Monon I listen to tunes and therefore have headphones in. When I ride on main roads like Allisonville, however, I do not, for safety sake. So I ride into my neighborhood with headphones in, but music off, and ride past three 8-year-olds who obviously think I'm listening to music and can't hear them. And one of them looks at me, and trying to be awesome in front of his bros says, "What's up hot babe". I let him be that cool by not saying anything back.

Now if only someone 21 years older than him could take some interest, I'd be in business.

Gaga Fashion Baby

This is an actual conversation that took place in my house yesterday between Chris (my step mom), me, and my dad...

Chris (my step mom, to me): Did you see that Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat to the VMAs yesterday?

Me: No, I didn't. She's a crazy person.

Chris: Yeah. I guess PETA is not happy with her.

Me: I would suppose not.

My Dad: What, did she wear bacon all over her or something?

Chris: No, like, you know, strips of raw meat.

Me: Dad, it was I'm sure made out of different cuts of raw meat and steaks.

Chris: I would not have wanted to sit next to her in that outfit.

Me: Me neither. I would have made a scene about it if I had to just to show her up.

(at this point I walk upstairs and they continue talking, when I hear this:)

My Dad: She's an artist just doing art. What's the big deal?

First, I never though I would hear my dad in a conversation about what Lady Gaga wore to the VMAs. Second, did he just try to pretend that wearing a meat dress is normal and within the confines of art? Who is this man?

one thing i forgot to tell you...

none of my pants fit because my legs are too big. sweet.

back to life...back to reality...

Or whatever semblance of reality this is that I'm in right now.

Either way, it's weird. I'm pretty happy my reality now is not a cubicle with stressful workflows.

Recap of the rest of the road trip Redwood Forest...

We drove for 27 hours to Moab, UT and didn't kill each other. I felt that was a great accomplishment. We hiked in Arches National Park where we watched a couple (with 3 small children) ignore said children at Delicate Arch and had 3408 heart attacks watching all 3 of them almost walk off the side of a large ledge. I would not award them Most Responsible Parent Award at this point and time. We then drove to Denver, CO where I reunited with Noblesville cronies. We tried to go tubing on the river, but the river was too low, and it was essentially us sitting on tubes on top of rocks. We did however find a swimming hole with drunken locals, which we found entertaining for about an hour. Ryan treated us to an amazing sushi dinner which made me feel like I was a civilized adult again. I wore the same outfit out both nights in Denver. It's different to do that in the real world. People aren't as understanding. But I don't care and am going to have to get used to that lifestyle. After Denver, we drove back to Indiana. The world is super flat after you come out of Denver. It makes for boring drives. The crew dropped me at my dad's driveway at 4:30 am on Monday morning. I bawled my eyes out saying farewell to my team. I can't believe it's over. I couldn't believe I wouldn't be spending every day with them anymore. It was sad. I love them. We played one final game of ninja and then they left. I was gasping for breath. My brother was supportive because he knows how to deal with me in that state after all the years he's watched my dramatic good-byes. I love him.

Here's what I've been doing since I've been home...

Making to do lists for the next 2 months to prepare for my next journey. Pumping myself full of so much coffee every morning that I have the jitters until like 4pm. Spending my well saved travel money at the mall (to be fair I needed a pair of jeans because there are massive holes in my other pairs, and a new bra (which I won't even talk about the pain of that process because it makes me want to drink poison...think 10980283x worse than swim suit shopping i previously blogged about)). Making phone calls to insurance companies, banks, other exciting businesses to get the best rates for the coming year. Thinking about what I'm going to pack. Got my hair did so I have some style again. Getting overwhelmed at all I have to do (think this might have to do with the too much coffee thing), and playing on Facebook or catching up with friends instead. Developing a super unhealthy Facebook addiction.

Also - I taught my dad and step mom how to play Ninja the other night after dinner. It was hysterical.

Tomorrow I will be 29. Talk about Gramelly. The last year in my 20s will be epic.

rest stop in Utah...literally this is what it looked like...like father like son or something like that...do you think we've spent too much time together?

the heat in the desert made my fingers bloated

hiking

delicate arch at sunset

my sweet white spandex shorts that are now permanent

almost an adult dinner - most things aren't complete without mustaches

sarah, me, and katie

Road Trippin Yeah

Trees in the Redwood Forest are pretty large.

We have been in the car for about 27 hours.

We have played approximately 78 games of Ninja in the past 48 hours.

Denis said the words, “this is awesome” yesterday while driving at least 800 times. We decided not to give him coffee anymore.

I am addicted to gum.

The sunset in the desert was amazing, but only after we were propositioned to go to Burning Man.

We spent an hour in a half in Reno. I have wanted to go there since I first saw Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act. I won $8. We danced on the corner and explained to a bum that we couldn’t give him money, as we were trying to make our own.

Corn on the cob is one of the greatest foods ever made.

In true Dumb & Dumber style, I drove the wrong way out of Reno (after thinking about that scene in my head before). I am just so used to going west.

Denis does not make a good cheerleader. In fact, he’s the worst.

Angela acts just like Tracy when she first wakes up, she tries to pretend she wasn’t sleeping (and then denies that as well).

Honey, I shrunk the kids.

When we went hiking yesterday we saw the best rattail in the world, followed closely by the hairiest man alive.

In 8 days I will be 29. Wow.

ninja at night at the campground...wierd looks our way

going speelunking

the grove

grey rattail

bumps on a log

sunset

winner

dancing in the streets

dance party welcome to the casino