Sometimes I find the idea of working to get better at something painful. I understand that practice makes perfect. But in certain things (mostly things that are difficult) I just want to be perfect without having to work too hard at it. What I mean to say is that I want instant gratification in extreme sports.
So goes my recent love affair with rock climbing. I just want to scamper up the most technically difficult walls easily without fear. But this, like any new undertaking, takes practice. Lots of practice. And bouldering, and climbing walls, and technique, and ridding yourself of fear, and falling. Nelle and I used to send all kinds of YouTube videos back and forth of people falling while climbing. We were definitely fearful of the same, and often joked about jumping off the wall in training just to test out the feeling of falling. Fear stopped us from really doing that. When I went on the climbing trip in January with Hernan, I slipped a few times, but again, didn't really experience a big fall. Hernan told us that some day we would need to have a big fall to rid us of the real fear of falling. Once we fell, we would realize it wasn't so bad, and our climbing styles would become less fear-based and we better climbers.
I arrived in Huaraz yesterday, and was stoked to do some bouldering and climbing. I had heard it was home to some legendary routes, and was excited to spend the whole 3 days improving my skills. I went and found a guide and signed up for a climbing trip for day two, and got directions to the closest bouldering field. In the blazing sun, my tiny rock shoes in hand, I climbed through the beautiful green countryside to the little town of Huanchac. Though I had been assured that there would be tons of climbers out, I found myself alone save some cows unhappily mooing as I moved into their territory. Three young boys from the town came over to teach me some boulder skills. It was really fun until I started climbing and then they only made me nervous. They left me to my own devices, but I realized it's kind of hard to boulder alone without cushions for landing gear. When someone else is with you, at least you have confidence that they might catch your fall, but with nothing between me and the rocky cow-shit-covered ground below, I lost my mo-jo. But I kept on, enjoying the peacefulness of the countryside until the clouds came and the rain washed it away.
After a restful night in front of the fireplace and a good night sleep last night, I was ready to get after it again this morning. I met my guide, Roosevelt. Luckily the other girl who signed up for the trip dropped out at the last minute, so I would have a private tour. We hopped a bus to Montgomery. Because of all the recent rain, the river below was quite high so we climbed to the top of the rock to set up camp. I watched, albeit confusedly, as he set up all the gear from above and then instructed me to rappel down and climb up, doing everything quite backwards. He explained that there was no way for him to belay from below due to the water, so he would do so from above. So I lowered myself down and began the climb up with really shaky arms and the water rushing below. But I mastered that wall, on all sides, and was feeling really rock climber.
So we cleaned the wall and climbed over the bridge, through the forest and to the second wall, a larger more difficult wall. We talked along the way about the importance of the first big fall. I said I knew I needed to fall, but would obviously continue to do everything in my power not to do so. I lead-climbed my way right up that second wall without problem, and was feeling pretty baller, shot-caller. Then Roosevelt suggested I try the left side of the wall, which was much tougher with smaller rock holds for my hands and feet. I was totally up for the challenge, climbing from a top rope in the middle of the wall up the left side. As I began the ascent, holding on to the nubby rocks for dear life, I started to get a little nervous. And as I got nervous I lost my confidence. And with the loss of confidence I lost it all. And I fell. And because I was climbing way to the left of the top rope, not only did I fall down, but I swung like a madwoman clear across the entire wall, arms and legs flailing and crashing into the rock. And not only hitting Roosevelt as he secured the rope, but with the gravity of my fall, lifting him clear off the ground until we collided in mid-air. It was not, by any means, graceful, but humbling and frightening. Once we lowered ourselves back down to earth, I sat on the ground doing breathing exercises to get ahold of myself as Roosevelt asked if I was ok. When I calmed down, I stood up, started clapping, and announced that I could continue climbing from then on without fear. And I attempted the climb again. But my body was not in agreement with fearless climbing, and again, I fell. Less hard this time, learning to use my hands and feet against the wall to break the fall. And I tried again, thinking the third time was a charm. And again, I fell. And then it wasn't fun. Because then as I climbed again I found that all I could think about was falling and how much it hurt and how much I didn't want to do it. When you lose the mental part, it all goes to shit. And shortly thereafter, I wore out my arms by not using my legs enough, and gave up on that left side. I climbed the right, falling again, and then finished up two more times up the middle, restoring my confidence.
And then I was spent. And my knee and foot hurt from tough slams into the wall. And I decided that after my surf concussion last week and this, that maybe it would be best to decline the offer to go with Roosevelt tomorrow and climb tougher walls. I know I need practice, but I also have to remember that I'm not going to be a world-class rock climber overnight. And I also need to listen to my body. So tonight I will just read books in front of the fireplace, and tomorrow I will have a less adventurous day in adventureland.
|
rocks for climbing all for me |
|
and the cows |
|
look at these little guys |
|
fashion plate |
|
cozy |
|
rappeling down for the first climb |
|
NBD climbing right back up |
|
looking for the holds |
|
a little lead climbing |
|
a view of the first wall and the barbed wire fence we had to scale to shimmy to wall number 2 |