kellita the señorita the ibby dibby dow: Showing you my face. Showing us your penis.

Any way you look at it, yesterday was interesting.

Gay Pride weekend was always one of my favorite weekends in NYC. So much celebration and happiness centered on equality for everyone. So I was stoked to find out that I would be here to experience the Pride March in Buenos Aires.

I met up with some good peeps at Plaza de Mayo around 3 to start the festivities. It was a great day, with bright sunshine and temps in the upper 70s. Perfection. Before the parade, there was a feriada in Plaza de Mayo where people sold books, rainbow wears, jewelery, food, drinks, and more. Educational materials switched hands and great musicians took the stage to celebrate everyone - male, female, transvestite, gay, queer, bi-sexual, straight. You name it, we were celebrating it. It goes down as one of the greatest people-watching days in my lifetime.

As Argentina is the first Latin American country to legalize gay marriage nationwide, there is a large focus on overall acceptance of everyone no matter their sexual preferences. They are trying to pass a law now that allows the transgender population to select their sex on their national IDs according to what they most identify with. In so many ways this country seems behind the times, but on the gay issues, it's well ahead.

The discussion centered around that acceptance as well as safe and affordable birth control and health care, no matter what the circumstances. Around 7pm, we took to the streets with the jam-packed, music-blaring floats, and marched from Plaza de Mayo to Congreso, singing and dancing the whole way.

When we first arrived and were taking it all in, a woman dressed in tight black leggings, heels, and a black corset came around selling cookies for AR$5. Each cookie came with a free kiss. Later as we neared the floats to march, we saw said woman walking around with a gigantic pair of garden shears, holding them over what appeared to be a fake penis. It took a couple double-takes to realize what was really happening. The she was really a he. Or he was a she. Or I don't know. We came to understand that she was indeed a he who much more identified with being female. And the major thing stopping that was the twig and berries between his/her legs. Yes, it was a real penis, out for everyone to see, nothing fake as we previously thought. It was quite a display, and I just kept getting nervous that with all the ho-ha, those shears would cause a seriously gruesome accident and snipping of the boy parts. Yikes.

But possibly the most entertaining of the evening was the new friend I made standing outside a restaurant waiting for Derek to come out of the bathroom. A good-looking scruffy young man of about my age approaches and the following conversation goes down (thankfully with Nells at my side to witness it)...

Him - Hey. What's your name?

Me - Kelly. What's yours?

Him - Where are you from?

Me - The US

Him - Me too. I'm from Miami.

Me - Really? Cool.

Him - How can we get to know each other?

Me - I don't know. That's a tall order.

Him - Why is it so hard to get to know each other?

Me - Don't know, really.

Him - I just want to know one thing.

Me - Oh? What's that?

Him - What's your name?

Me - Really? Kelly. My name is Kelly.

Him - Ok, but Kelly. What is your name?

Me - Are you fucking with me? My name is Kelly, you just said it yourself.

Him - You're really pretty. How do we get to know each other?

Me - Don't think that's in the cards tonight. (pulling out the fake boyfriend card) I have a boyfriend.

Him - Yeah but you have me here right now. Where is he?

Me - That's true. But I'm really just trying to tell you, you're wasting your time.

Him - Yeah, but what's your name?

Me - Still Kelly. My name is Still Kelly.

Him - Still Kelly? That's kind of weird.

At this point Nells steps in to try to break it up while we are still waiting for Derek to emerge.

Nells - Dude. You're cool, but she's trying to tell you it's not going to happen.

Him - But she's pretty. Why does she have so many freckles?

Nells - Freckles? Does she have a lot of freckles? I don't know. I bet she was born with them.

He grows exasperated and defeatedly walks away.

Then returns and gets really close to my face.

Him - Just tell me one thing.

Me - What's that?

Him - What's your name?

Me - Are you being serious?

Him - I just want to be where I can see your face.

Me - Well, I guess that's good cause you're awfully close to it. Can you see it ok?

Him - But I just want to always see your face.

Me - Well, I just don't see that being a possibility.

Him - But what is your name?

Me - Wow. Really? Nelly, where the fuck is Derek?

Him - But Kelly, what is your name? (and actually isn't realizing that he is saying my name)

Him - Pero cual es tu nombre?

Me - Ah. Ahora hablamos en castellano?

Him - Si. De donde sos?

Me - Soy de los estados unidos. Vos?

Him - Soy de acá.

Me - De Buenos Aires?

Him - Si. Cual es tu nombre?

Me - Kelly. No sos de Miami.

Him - No.

Me - (as Derek finally emerges) Bueno. Un placer. Soy Kelly. Todavia. Chau.

Nells decided that he was super drugged out and I somehow became his safety net. So he would keep walking away and come back because I felt safe. My face makes you safe. Don't forget that.